I had such high hopes for this blog. Truly, I did! Why did I give up on it then? Why did I stop writing? I guess that I became complacent and allowed my circumstances to dictate my actions, instead of keeping a clear head and seeing things through.

Well, here I am again, in the middle of the night, writing to clear my head. (If you've read my blog before, you'll know what I'm talking about). What to say? What to write? It is difficult to come back after three years and just pick up the thread of where I left off and carry on with my train of thought. So for now, I'll just write for the sake of writing and hope against hope that it will help me sleep.

For those of you who haven't read my blog, here is the brief history on the conceptualization of Imagery & Insights on a Day-Dreamer's sleeping habits: I started writing because I was uncertain of a lot of the relationships that I found myself in at the time and this was my way of sorting out for which ones were worth keeping and which ones needed to go out the door. The process helped at first. I managed to see a few relationships for what they were. Bad. These relationships were not only between myself and other human beings - one of my most intimate relationships was with a game! Can you believe it!? For a couple of years I spent more time with that game than with anything else. So I stopped playing it for time and when I was convinced that I could control myself, I started playing again. Luckily I realized early on that the game was controlling me and not the other way around, so I got out for good.
But then I also saw some neglected relationships that needed my attention and a bit of serious work from my side! Some of those relationships are now a very big part of my life, but others saw a brief flicker of rekindled effort and then it faded into the background again only to be dusted off when I was seriously bored or felt a lot of guilt. Writing was one of those and as you can clearly see, I only revert to writing under extreme conditions.
On a serious note, writing's been gnawing at my sub-conscious for quite some time now. Every night for the past two months, just before drifting to sleep I'd say to myself:"Self, it's time to start writing again!". Tonight there was no drifting, only an endless sea of roiling emotions and nauseating unease and voila, a wild blog post appears!

Anyhow, getting back to the past, after getting rid of some of my very nasty relationships I just started replacing them with other nasty relationships and habits. When I first started writing I was so anxious about where I was headed that I wrote on a regular basis and started sorting myself out, but then the anxiety died down a bit and I thought that I was okay. I was making new friends, learning new things about the world and forming new (healthy) relationships. But all the while, my anxiety was still there, albeit a little subdued. I became used to being anxious all the time and allowed that angst to push me into very unhealthy habit-forming situations. I surrounded myself with things and people that could numb the feelings of anxiety and stress, but in the end they could not take it away. When at last I realized this, the anxiety had returned full blast and here I am, gloriously hammering away at my keyboard, telling no-one and everyone that I cannot sleep...
So in essence I am kind of where I was four years ago. The main difference being that I've replaced old bad relationships with new ones. I'm once again on a mission to piece together the mystery that is relationship.

Climb aboard if you wish! Join me on my journey to fulfilling relationships and a proper sleeping pattern. For now, adieu!

A good reflection of how I feel at present. 

What's going on in Venezuela in a nutshell

I saw this video on YouTube today. It is completely unsettling to know that thing like this still happen in the world today. It is very similar to the Tiananmen Square protests back in 1989 - the military killing students who are protesting for their right to speak.



Please pray for the situation in Venezuela. For the people that are fighting for what they believe in and for the government to put a stop to the military activity!

A Quick Photo-update

Milan is the kind of city that made me want to take photo's in sepia. Yes, I was in Milan for a short while. I will tell you about that later, for now I only have time to upload a few quick pictures of my stay. Hope you enjoy looking at them as much as I enjoyed taking them!

Just some random street crossing.

A tranquil spot in the middle of a super busy city.

One of the busiest pedestrian walkways in the city - Corso Vittorio Emanuele II

Look at this picture and tell me what you see...

Frightening Frontiers...

Reflections on a different time and a different place. How often, when we are in one place, do we wish we were somewhere else? And then, when we get to the place we wished to be, we yearn to go back to that which we know?

Icicles clung to the eaves, all the passersby were breathing white mist, gravel crunching beneath their feet. Scarves were wound tight, hands stuck deep into coat pockets, shoulders hunched against the cold.

Into this unfriendly, gray world I stepped with hope around my ankles, dragging me down. As you know, the bus I was supposed to take to Poprad wasn't running anymore. Surrounded by sour, non-English speaking faces, even the bus station Jedi's blessings didn't give me any hope. The task before me was comparatively small, but it felt like I had to move a mountain! All I had to do was convince a bus driver to take me to Poprad.

For those of you who haven't been to the Zakopane bus station, if you walk out the front door, there is a fairly big road in front of you - double lanes going both ways. On both sides of the road you get bus stops, but not in normal style. For about 50 meters the road splits into four lanes in both directions, with the two 50m lanes separated from the street by a curb (once again on both sides). These extra lanes are stuffed to the brim with 16 seat minibuses. Well, not stuffed to the brim exactly, but there were at least 8 small buses on each side of the road. Walking to the closest bus and from there to the next one, and the next one, and the next one asking for help gave me no joy and no outcome. Conversation was the same every time and it was short. It went something like this:

Me: "Poprad?"
Bus driver: "No."

After going through all of the buses present at that time, I still had no way of getting across the border. Needless to say, my anxiety levels were a fair bit higher than normal! Back in front of the station, my eye caught a group of touristy looking people across the road from me. Having absolutely nothing to lose, I walked over to them and asked them If they were going to Poprad. Of course they weren't. What was I thinking? Dejectedly I told them my story, because two of the four could actually speak a fair amount of English. After listening politely they said they couldn't help me. Thus I took my stuff and shuffled back to the station in defeat.

Sitting on a bench, staring vacantly at the potted tree in front of me I didn't see one of the touristy people approaching. She told me that I needed to take my stuff and follow her, their little bus was going to drive almost all the way to the Slovak border, and that the driver knew of a little town in Slovakia from where I might find a bus. Well, when you are drowning you don't consider whether a branch would keep you above water before you grab onto it, you just grab it and hope. So that is what I did! The bus driver couldn't speak any English and all that he kept saying was: "Lysa Polana! Lysa Polana!" when I asked him about Poprad. You've heard of Lysa Polana before, haven't you? At least the people who read my blog regularly should have seen the name before. Yes, it was (is) the little town across the Slovak border that consists of three houses and a liquor store.

After the bus driver dropped me off in the middle of seemingly nowhere and gave me directions to the Slovak border, I took a deep breath and started walking. Apart from the fact that I wasn't sure where I'd sleep that night, the walk was quite pleasant! With a beautiful cliff face on my right and a little river bubbling along on my left. Snow hanging thick from tree branches and no sound apart from the gurgling of the stream, the sound of my suitcase wheels scrapping more than rolling across the road and the crunch of my boots, I felt almost at peace. Eventually I came to a narrow bridge crossing the stream, and there, on the other side of the bridge on a big blue notice board was the emblem of the European Union with one word written beneath it: Slovakia

The smaller sign next to the blue one read "Lysa Polana". I had made it. I was in Slovakia!

Pulling my suitcase up the steps to the liquor store alerted the shop keeper to my presence, and he came out to greet me, in Slovak. Haha, I greeted him in English and told him my story, in broken English he said that I could wait inside his shop until the bus to Poprad arrived. Gratefully I sank into a chair in front of a small television, showing a news reporter blurt out something about a place in Greece. Not long after I got seated the kind shopkeeper told me that the bus had arrived, and took my suitcase outside. I thanked him profusely and got on the bus to Poprad. My troubles were over, or so it seemed...

It only started up again a couple of days after the arrogant youth rejoiced in the kind strangers failure, though. So I guess I have to come back to that incident before I carry on with my story. Hopefully next time I'll be able to share a few tidbits about human nature and what makes us rejoice in another's failure.

For now, stay calm and read on...

The Bus-station Jedi

As promised, I bring to you the Bus station Jedi! I know that I called him the train station Jedi in a previous post, but he isn't. He doesn't even work on a train station, so why would I have called him that? I must have been more tired than I thought...

You'll remember that I've been walking in circles around the bus station in Zakopane, trying to decide in which direction I had to walk to reach Top Hostel Zakopane (the place where I was supposed to sleep). Thank goodness I went back into the station, otherwise I would have walked in the complete opposite direction from where I actually needed to go! Anyway, let's get to the point...

Back in the bus station I walked up to the news stand and asked the gentleman behind the counter if he could help me with directions. To my greatest delight and amazement, he spoke fluent English! Immediately dampening my spirit, he told me that he didn't have the faintest idea of where this hostel might be, but that he could help me to install a new sim card in my mobile phone so that I could phone the place and find out where they are located. Reluctant to spend money I thought of just trying my luck and ask around, but soon found out that my luck wasn't in. No-one around the station could speak English. Can you believe it? So I went back to the man in charge of the little newspaper shop and bought a sim card. Thus our strange friendship began.

After putting it in my phone he explained, step by step, how to activate my new number, how to buy credit, how to access the internet and so forth. He was very kind and very helpful, explaining to me that he didn't use the operating system that I just subscribed to, but that a friend of his is also a subscriber to Orange (operating system). After we struggled with my phone for a bit he asked me where I was going and where I came from, so I told him. He was very interested in South Africa and what's more, he actually knew something of our culture and geography (courtesy of the 2010 soccer world cup)! Being polite, I asked him where he was from and where he was going. Turns out he was born in Zakopane and that he would only be going home in the early morning hours. We went back to struggling with my phone again. Growing tired and losing hope, he sent his friend a message, the one I mentioned earlier. While waiting for his friend to reply, the gentleman told me about the dog that he had found next to the road nine years ago. He still has the dog and loves the dog a lot! So I told him about the time my dad found a dog cowering under his car and how my dad coaxed the dog out from under the car and into our back yard, where he lived on for another twelve years.

Sorry for all of the boring stories, but I have to set the scene for what's to come. It will blow your mind! Hehe, after the dog stories we sorted out my phone and I was ready to leave, but the newspaper man had other plans! Shame, I think it can be very lonely, working night shift in a small, near abandoned station, so I humored him. With pride he told me how he taught himself to speak English by means of gospel music. Truth be told, I was stunned - throughout my journey I  was constantly praying for help, and here comes this man who could speak English because of gospel music. Coincidence..? I told him how God had answered my prayers through him and this is where it got strange. He told me that everything is connected by the Force, and that if you do something good to someone the Force will balance it out by having someone do something good to or for you.
"What about God," I asked him.
"Yes, we are like God's last Jedi's on earth, people like you and me!" was his answer. "We are here to combat the dark forces. There are too many people who will offer you help and then take your stuff. They are the Sith lords and there are too many of them." These were his exact words. "God is using us to combat the Sith, but they are slowly taking over. When the world is dark, Jesus will come back to take the last Jedi away!"
I really didn't know how to respond. How do you respond to that? Not knowing what to say, I said thank you for the help and the talk and left the bus station. With my new caller ID I phoned the hostel and got the directions.

The next day, after a good nights rest and a breakfast consisting of bread, cheese and jams, I went out to look at Zakopane. Having done my window-shopping I made my way back to the bus station. On arrival I found out that the bus I was supposed to take to Poprad has been cancelled, because I was the only passenger. Needless to say, I didn't take this news too well! In the middle of a non English town with nowhere to go, I went back to the newspaper stand, and guess what!? Yes, the Jedi was there. I told him about my predicament and he told me not to worry, he would help me. So he closed his shop and walked over to the ticket office. After a heated discussion in Polish he came back and told me that there would be no bus to Poprad in the following days either, that I had to physically go outside and ask the bus drivers, one by one, if any one of them might be willing to take me to Poprad. Despair was upon me! How on earth was I going to convince a Polish bus driver to take me to Slovakia!?
"Don't worry my friend," the Jedi man said, "God is with you and the Force will help you. Remember we are some of the last Jedi, you and I." With that he walked back to his shop and never looked at me again.

I still don't know what to make of him. Such a funny character! But without him I don't know where I would be now...

How did I get to Poprad? Well, that is a story for another day. For now, take care of yourselves and remember, the Force is with you! :p

A church in Zakopane

Stalling for time

This is where I went to bed a couple of nights ago. How 'bout that?

The approach...

Yes, yes, I know this is not a Jedi on some small station in the middle of Europe! Sorry, I know that I tend to get side-tracked, but you must understand, at the moment I am living/writing in the past, the present and the future. Partly the reason for this blog. I am looking for a way to fuse past, present and future. Please bear with me...

I think I owe you an explanation: My room-mate convinced me to join him and a friend of his for a hike in the mountains above Tatranska Lomnica.

The pictures below will tell you the story.

When I saw the hut I was both surprised and excited. This called for a celebration!

The morning after.

We three hikers!

Solitude

Usually this would have been covered by snow. Apparently February is heart of a European winter. Not this year...

The White Lake, apt name.

Fooling around :p

To all of my readers, you will have your story concerning the Zakopane station Jedi by this time tomorrow. I promise.

A Sneak Peak, if you will...

This is just to whet your appetite. A toilet and an air-vent in one. No one can accuse the Poles of over spending on their inter city railway lines...

In the next episode: A very interesting theological discussion, a new friend becoming an old friend, an old friend revisited and cold feet. Stay tuned.